Earn More Sessions By Sleeving

1020 Hrs.

I’m listening to the disk of Kraftwerk’s Radio-Aktivat and Computer Welt, the German-language versions that I found last summer. This is good stuff. I had wanted it for so long, and now I hardly listen to it. I will make an effort to get to this more in 2007. That's my trip, I guess, my New Year's resolutions are simpler, and they usually involve books to read or things to learn or music to tackle. The big stuff -- the life-changing, make-myself-a-better-man stuff -- I try to make those my resolve at the start of every week, rather than waiting until 1/1/XX. Hope that doesn't sound pompous or anything. The point I'm trying to make is that my New Year's resolutions probably sound stupid. For instance, this year, in addition to the aforementioned Kraftwerk disks, I'd like to get to know more music from Polly Harvey and Captain Beefheart, listen to more of the Alan Vega solo stuff, and become more conversant in the different style shifts within Coltrane's career.

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NY1 told me this morning that the owner of an antique shop in Manhattan is suing the homeless people who sleep in front of his store for $1,000,000. I didn’t here much else of the story, and didn’t get any editorial slant on it, but this has got to be for show, right? The store owner's complaining that they sleep right in front of his store; they block his window display, warming themselves on the subway grate and urinating onto the sidewalk.

It is my guess that this is just a bloated bluff; he assumes once this gets enough media coverage and creates a stir, some one or some public department will sweep the gang of homeless away from his store, at which point he’ll drop the suit. He’s got to know that he’d be spending more money taking it to court than the cost of getting the homeless persons rooms at an SRO until spring.

I can see the detriment they might be causing his business, but really… he’s taking a huge moral risk here. It looks real bad of course. What if they called his bluff, lawyered up, and made him just another rich guy trying to squeeze money from the poor, or in this case, the indigent? Wow. Can you imagine the daily coverage from that courtroom? Of course, the homeless defendants (it already sounds bad!) would be all cleaned up by their court-appointed lawyers to look even better than the cavemen in those Geico commercials, and they’d get a shitload of deserved sympathy from public, press, and jury. Then at the other table would be the rich business owner, suing the poor sidewalk pisser.

(Wait, if you’re being sued, do you have a right to a court-appointed lawyer? Or is that only for criminal cases?)

I wonder if the antique shop owner knew his lawsuit story would hit during the city’s first week of sub-zero wind chills? Unfortunate timing, dude.

What if this started a whole new trend of downward-class lawsuits? The rich suing the poor all over the court system. Business owners suing the sidewalk homeless, commuters suing subway homeless, the state of Texas suing the forced migrants of Katrina.

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1442 Hrs.

My pals Heidi and Rob were at the gym when I got there. I worked out with them in the cage for a while after my deadlift sets, and then moved on to the other side of the room to work with dumbbells.

As I did my shoulders and back stuff, Heidi and Rob finished up their workout and came over to where I was. We sat on the benches there and talked for about a half hour. Usually – always – I hate sitting around talking at the gym. I won’t do it. But it was them, and I’d finished most of the workout, so I gladly shot the shit for 30 minutes.

When they got up to leave I put my earphones right in to continue my work.

Some woman comes right up to me. I don’t know her, but I see her all the time, so we give each other the hello nod most of the time. But I don’t know her name and we’ve never had more conversation than “Are you still using this?” or shit like that. Today, the moment Heidi and Rob were out of earshot, this stranger comes up and puts her hand on my elbow. I have to take my earphones out to hear what she needs.

“Can I just say something? That guy,” she gestures with her thumb back to Rob and Heidi who are about 30 yards away, waiting for the elevator, “he works out so hard all the time, and he never changes.” I guess she is talking about his physique. Then she sort of makes a who farted face and says, “I can’t stand him. I just have to say. It’s pathetic.”

What?! Throughout all of this, I said nothing. I just stood there with a very confused expression.

Again… what?! Is she only stupid, or is she rude and stupid? She’d seen me working out with him, so she’d also seen me sitting down talking to Rob for a half hour. Did she not compute that we are friends? What kind of an idiot is she? She’s ripping on my friend. (And that’s all I needed to say: He’s my friend. But I didn’t. I was too dumbfounded, and now I regret not giving her back a mouthful of her own shit.)

I thought, who the hell does she think she is, passing judgment on somebody else in the gym? You just don’t do that. But since she opened the valve, I turned around to get a good look: Ridiculous hair -- all poofy. A little extra skin swinging from where triceps ought to be. Dumb dragon tattoo inching across her love handles. Is that a diaper under her spandex pants, or is her ass misshapen?

Thing is, people just don’t get it. They are so into their own shit that they're clueless about what's going on around them. She comes to the gym to do her cardio, lift a lot of light weights many times, and sweat some. And that is right for her, because she probably wants to lose the weight, shrink the ass, and tighten up what’s underneath the flabby stuff. The hair and the bad tattoo can be fixed elsewhere.

But she looks at Rob and sees a guy who’s 6-1, and about 265-275 pounds. He’s big and broad and he’s got a big strong gut. I immediately recognize his as the physique of a powerlifter. Look at any of those World’s Strongest Men competitions on TV. Those guys aren’t bodybuilders. They're not in the gym "working to get a good pump" or to feel some silly "burn."They are training for sheer strength and power. They pick up extremely heavy things and put them down again. To the uninitiated, these dudes might look fat at first glance. To Miss Rude and Ignorant, Rob appears to be accomplishing nothing in the gym.

Well, alright. But I’ve seen him squat 475. For reps.

Annnnyway. I put my earphones back in without saying anything to her, hoping she was embarrassed as fuck for walking up to a relative stranger and badmouthing his friend. The more I hear what people have to say, the more I love the iPod.

[posted with ecto]

On iTunes right now: Portobello from the album The Lords Of The New Church by Lords Of The New Church

Comments

[walein]

I think you need to get black marker and write "fuck off" on a big cardboard box and then prop it up like a french divider between you and the public at your gym.

[Tommy Himself]

Yes!

[walein]

Step 2:

Moat of acid.

[chicagomama]

I am still shaking my head, like - no way. No. Way.
Who does that? In my imagination - the only time stuff like that ever happens is when the person being a complete and utter asshat at least has the grace to be in the most freaking amazing shape that anyone could ever imagine being in.
Oh wait. All the people I know who are in tremendous shape physically know how freaking hard that is, the variation to be found within be fit and are pretty fucking nice people. So nice that when I drag my sorry self to the weight room - those are always the people who are the kindest and are willing to show out-of-shape, chubby me how to work a piece of equipment I am staring at like it is the equation to the first rule of thermodynamics.
I would have been speechless too. But I do like Walein's idea of the cardboard box divider for next time.